It’s now late August and we are officially beginning the transition back to school, so I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to best navigate transitions as the mental load that women carry every day expands during this time of year. Depending on the ages of our children, we are navigating school tours, school schedules, ensuring we have proper before and after school care, or trying to block off time to take them to class early to walk through their schedule in advance and get the locker codes to practice. Or maybe you’re about to drop off your babies at college halfway across the country, wondering if you’ve done enough to support them and if you’ve properly prepared them for life!
We are buying school supplies, new clothes, shoes, and backpacks, etc., in addition to the daily load of navigating where our kids need to be by when, meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc., while finishing summer camps and trying to enjoy the last few days of summer as a family. And I know I’m not the only one who just realized all my boys have outgrown their pants and basically need a whole new wardrobe. Just put it on my tab.
Personally, I have three boys, ages 12, 7, and 6. My 7-year-old has Down syndrome and goes to a special program, so I have 3 boys in 3 different schools. I have a nanny who has lived with us for 5 ½ years, who recently got married and is moving out at the end of the summer, so for the first time in a while, I’m trying to navigate who is going to watch my kids before and after school while planning for upcoming travel. Phew! 🥴
Even without the back-to-school transition, so many executives and entrepreneurs are struggling to manage all the demands across their work and home lives. How do you run a company or large team while also managing your household and leading your family well? At work, there are meetings, deadlines, employees who need performance management, others who quit, and you need to hire and train new ones. How can you ensure you’re being a good leader while meeting all your deadlines, successfully completing all projects on target and on budget, developing those who report to you, and building strong cross-functional partnerships? It’s a tall order for anyone.
Although every day brings its own challenges and adventures and I certainly don’t have all the answers, I do have some tips I’ve used along the way to make things a bit easier. My tips come down to planning in advance, building flexibility for the unexpected, and getting the help you need.
- Plan in advance for your big rock priorities (the ones where the wheels start to fall off if you don’t do them) and BLOCK TIME IN YOUR CALENDAR for them.
- Personal time. For me, this looks like a monthly massage to help me relax and boost my circulation. It can also be a nap on the weekends or even a personal retreat each quarter. It doesn’t matter what you do, it just matters that you prioritize YOU and block time for it. You can’t be your best for those you love when you’re depleted and always putting yourself last.
- Date with my husband every other week. We are working up to weekly, but that’s not always realistic in this season of life. The important part here is to block time for your most important relationships.
- Family time each week. We try to plan an activity with the kids each week. This could be something fun like going to an amusement park, the local park, or just having a carpet picnic while we watch a movie at home.
- Daily movement. Your health is absolutely critical. Don’t skip this one!
- Church (or other spiritual practice) each week. This grounds me in my faith and in community each week. My faith is my foundation.
- Plan each week in advance.
- I block time on Saturday mornings to create a meal plan and overall plan for the week. I have a calendar for the week where I fill in all the meals and our schedule. It’s posted next to our fridge so everyone knows what’s going on and who needs to be where by when. My husband and I discuss the plan and discuss who needs to take the kids to an appointment, make dinner, take out the garbage, etc.
- Prep your meals for the week during your weekend or at least pack your lunch the night before.
- Ensure your daily habits support your goals.
- Plan your day the night before. Before I leave work, I always make a list of the top things I need to do the next day and then block my calendar for WHEN I am going to do them. If you set an intention for your day and you block the time in your calendar, you set yourself up for success and don’t have to waste time wondering what you’re going to do or focus on throughout the day.
- Go to bed early – your day starts the night before. If you stay up late, you’ll be tired the next day and will likely deal with slowness, brain fog, and an overall lack of productivity.
- Wake up 1 hour early to take time for yourself and get a jumpstart on the day. I use this time to read my Bible, pray, and journal. Then I do a 30-minute workout and stretch.
- Bonus tip: Chug 16 oz of water as soon as you wake up to hydrate and fuel your cells. It’s a great way to wake up!
- Get help!
- Child care: We have 3 kids in 3 different schools, so they get on the bus anytime from 6:45 in the morning to 9 am. With both me and my husband working full-time, we just can’t do before and after school care without help. So 5.5 years ago, we hired an au pair (a very affordable live-in nanny). She handles before and after care, makes the boys breakfast, and ensures they do their homework. She also washes their clothes and their sheets for us. It’s a GODSEND to have her! As I mentioned above, she is officially leaving us at the end of the summer, so we are going to try returning to traditional before and after school care through the school system since our kids are older now.
- Cleaning: We also hired someone to clean our house every other week. Now I know this can be a splurge, but my rule is you should never do something that you HATE doing if you can pay someone else to do it for less than your “hourly” rate. So if you make a salary of, we’ll use $100K just for easy numbers. You divide that by 52 weeks at 40 hours a week = $48 per hour. If you can hire someone for less than $48 per hour, it’s worth hiring over doing it yourself. Now, if you LOVE cleaning your house, that’s fantastic. But if you don’t, I strongly recommend that you consider hiring this out.
- Groceries: I no longer go grocery shopping. Instead, I do the meal plan and always order online and have groceries delivered. This saves me at LEAST 90 minutes every single week. I can now use that time to work out or play with my kids. Yes, I may pay $10 per delivery, but this is way cheaper than the money I save by not making all those impulse purchases throughout the store. I can also get free delivery at most places with an annual Shipt or Instacart membership.
- Meal Planning: I always prioritize protein in my diet to ensure I have plenty of energy to get everything done. I plan our meals for the week by determining how many meals we will have at home, decide on chicken, beef, or pork for each, and then fill in with veggies and include a carb for my kids. There are also several go-to recipes that I filter in every week or two to make it easy. Then I plan a splurge meal once a month (for us, it’s my homemade fettuccine alfredo! My boys love it and ask for it all the time.)
- There are also plenty of meal planning services out there you can try if you hate meal planning or are out of ideas. Try Meal Prep Magic from my dear friend Amy Civica. She is amazing, and the recipes are easy and delicious! https://www.amycivica.com/mealprepmagic
- Sharing tasks with your partner: If I know that I need several hours on a weekend to bang out several items for my business (or any key goal I have), I let my husband know in advance how much time I need and ask him when the best time is for him to watch our kids. We take turns supporting each other.
- Building Flexibility for the unexpected
- It’s best to build in buffer time so if you’re running late or something comes up, it’s not a big deal. However, this doesn’t always work, so I just stay open-minded, do my best, and as urgent and important things come up, I regularly move meetings, reschedule appointments, or adjust when I’m going to do tasks. I just make sure to reschedule them so I don’t lose track or forget anything.
- One way to build buffer or to make room for the things that are important to you is to stop wasting time on things that add no value to your life.
- Scrolling on Instagram.
- Binging never-ending shows on Netflix. I gave up watching TV several years ago, and I am shocked at how much more productive I’ve been. I’ve accomplished some very big goals, such as launching my own business and launching my first book, mostly due to prioritizing my personal growth over entertainment. Of course, I still watch a movie now and then. The important part here is not allowing screen time to steal your time and your future!
I hope you find these tips helpful. Let me know which ones you try and the impact they’re having on your life.
For more tips, check out a recent interview I did on The Holistic Health Coach podcast here.
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Christi Cossette, Empowered Action Coach
