One of the most common things high-achieving women say — often with a little guilt — is this:
“I know I should take better care of myself… I just don’t want to be selfish.”
That belief runs deep.
Because somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being needed was noble, being dependable was virtuous, and putting ourselves last was simply part of being a good woman, leader, mother, or partner.
But here’s the truth we don’t say out loud often enough:
Neglecting yourself doesn’t make you selfless.
It makes you disconnected.
When Self-Care Disappears, So Does Self-Trust
Most women don’t lose clarity because life gets busy.
They lose clarity because they lose connection.
Connection to their body.
Connection to their intuition.
Connection to the quiet inner voice that once guided decisions with confidence.
And when that voice gets quieter, self-doubt fills the space.
This is why so many capable women say things like:
- “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
- “I second-guess decisions I used to feel sure about.”
- “I feel numb instead of motivated.”
This isn’t because you’ve changed.
It’s because you’ve been overriding yourself for too long.
Why High-Achieving Women Struggle Here
Women who carry responsibility — at work and at home — are often praised for pushing through.
We’re rewarded for being resilient, adaptable, and composed.
So we learn to:
- ignore physical cues
- downplay emotional needs
- stay functional at all costs
But research in somatic psychology shows that when bodily signals are consistently ignored, we become less attuned to our own needs, limits, and preferences.
In other words:
The less you care for yourself, the harder it becomes to hear yourself.
Self-care isn’t indulgence. It’s how you stay oriented to who you are.
Self-Care Is a Way of Staying Aligned
Self-care isn’t about checking out of your life.
It’s about staying present in it.
It’s how you:
- recognize when a “yes” should be a “no”
- notice when something is off before it becomes a problem
- stay grounded enough to make clear decisions
- remain connected to your values instead of just your obligations
Without self-care, life keeps moving — but you’re no longer steering.
3 Grounded Ways to Practice Self-Care:
1. Care for your body without trying to fix her
Movement, rest, nourishment — not to optimize or change your body, but to nourish her!
2. Create moments without performance
No productivity. No output. Just presence.
This is where clarity and intuition return.
3. Respond when something feels off
Self-care isn’t just something you schedule.
It’s listening when your body or spirit says, “This isn’t aligned,” and honoring that information.
Even when it’s inconvenient.
How I Can Help
If you’re craving clarity, confidence, and alignment — not by doing more, but by reconnecting to yourself — this is the work I do with women every day:
- Purchase my International Bestselling Book that goes through the framework that has helped 1,000+ coaching and executive clients. You can find more information HERE.
- Join the Powerhouse Women Network! Find more information HERE.
- Build a custom strategy to reach your goals without burning out or compromising your purpose. Find out more information on this FREE complimentary call.
Your turn to reflect a step further:
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:
- Where have I been calling self-neglect “responsibility”?
- What helps me feel like myself again?
- What would it look like to take care of myself without guilt?
You don’t need to answer perfectly.
You just need to listen honestly.
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s how you stay whole.
And the world needs you whole.
Choose to live Fulfilled & Limitless.
– Christi Cossette
